The Madness that was SSN’s Deadline Day Coverage

The madness of Queen Georgie continued as an hour later she casually, and possibly accidentally, dropped the bombshell that she was “for sale, but it’ll cost you.” Which was presumably received with relish by the multi-millionaire footballers watching (whose tweets telling us they were watching were being read out frequently to boost Sky’s already bulging self importance and fill the gap in lieu of any actual news) but probably came as quite a surprise to Ant and/or Dec.

Eventually, at about nine, after around eighteen hours of telling us exciting things were happening, some exciting things started actually happening. These were not, unfortunately, of the record breaking exciting variety, and focused mainly on how long it would take Peter Crouch to pass a medical test designed for a normal man, what number Craig Bellamy would wear in his second stint at Liverpool and whether Arteta and Benayoun would make it in time to complete their last minute (read last couple of hours) deals at Arsenal. They obviously would, but Sky’d be damned if this would dampen the hyperbole.

At one point earlier in the day we’d been promised “exciting news if you’re a Manchester United fan after the break” which was then bafflingly never returned to ever again, and as the day drew to a close someone desperately made up a rumor about Kaka to Spurs, which gave us a good forty minutes of excited discussion about how crazy this all was, and typical of crazy ol’ deadline day, before Harry Redknapp, who’d only left his car once in 36 hours and only then to go to the loo, appeared from his car window (naturally) to laugh it off. Before presumably driving out of shot and kicking himself for not thinking of it first.

As we finally reached the tortuous end of this ridiculous day, the drama having been wrenched up even higher in the final hours by intermittent shots of Big Ben coupled with Sky’s mandatory serving of inappropriately aggressive music, the camera cut to black and fireworks – yes, f***ing FIREWORKS! – filled the screen to announce the end of the window.

Flying ninja Jesus on a bicycle. If there was ever a good argument for scrapping the Transfer Window it’s Sky’s coverage of it’s own coverage of Deadline Day. You know they’d have this on pay-per-view if they could get the figures.

I’m off to sit at my desk in a suit pretending to be Jim White. Beats playing football.

The article was written by Oscar Pye-Jeary for FootballFancast.com. Make sure to check out the latest news, blogs and podcasts at FFC – ed.

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