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There it Goes

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sterling-second-celeI am talking about me and my head, of course. Not Liverpool FC. Not Brendan Rodgers and his brilliant, lovely, tricky Reds. But me. Me and my mind, we are done. We are not sure we can do this anymore.

Matt Parkman, from the TV-series Heroes, has this ability where he can plant images in other people’s minds and make them see things that are not there. I am starting to suspect this is what is happening to me now. Either that or I am at the second stage of inception; a dream within a dream, within a dream. It all feels like I am stepping into some sort of warped reality or parallel dimension when watching football this season. The rest of the world makes sense (well, sort of), but I struggle to come to terms with what my Liverpool are doing.

Here is the thing: I love football. Not just LFC, but the game itself. I fell in love with the game long before I started to develop an awareness about specific teams or players, and the love has not faded. Normally I feel something is missing during the summer months; especially when there is no World Cup, Copa America or European Championship to give me my fix.

Now though, I feel it is starting to drain me. Physically. After the game against Manchester City I felt empty. Shaking, sweating. The euphoria disappeared far quicker than it should have done; I had nothing more to give. Like a petit mort, the post-sex emptiness. Deflated, with a strong need to be left alone and avoid any form of conversation. My positive emotions were spent.

It was all very strange. I cannot remember the last time I felt that way after a game of football, and I struggle to put my finger on exactly why I was feeling the way I did because it didn’t make any sense at all. Maybe it was all too much for me, I don’t know. Maybe it became all too real. Since Philippe Coutinho scored the winner – since Steven Gerrard gathered his men after the final whistle – I cannot recall having had a proper rational thought related to football. Reason gave way for emotion; my chimp has been well in charge this week.

However, now we go again. I go again. Not because we have to, but because we love it. We have to love it. Not embracing the situation – these moments – is an insult to every football fan out there who has nothing in particular to look forward to each weekend.

Too many times the last couple of decades has late April been about nothing more than mental preparation for next season. Too many times has there been little to cheer for. Now we have that. It is there, staring at us; waiting for us to sit down, to share a laugh and a drink. I want to be able to say I accepted the invitation.

I believed when it looked possible but not probable. And I enjoyed. So 5 points clear, with 3 games to go, why stop now?

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3 comments

  • shaheed joseph says:

    Jeees louise I had that emptyness after the Norwich and the same thought went through my head. Now that we NEARLY have it, I am scared to dream. The probability of winning and the possibility losing it is far too traumatising . I just wish it was all over now ! And can’t wait for it to start again!

  • k says:

    ok.. what i say.. they have proved it`s… the bigget game are come this week… vs chelsea.

    ……………………………………mignolet…………………………………
    …………..skertel……………………………………….agger…………….
    johnson………………gerrard……………lucas……………….flanagan
    ………………………………………allen…………………………………..
    ………………….cautinho……………………..sterling…………………..
    ……………………………………suarez……………………………………

    this is the best action… drop shako… upload agger.. bring allen at central with coutinho and sterling move to attacking mid. suarez will stay at top .

    stanby shako/toure/moses/ aspas/alberto

    • k says:

      this is 90% squad and we look how they challange chelsea.. the player they must cut before box is hazard and oscar.. skertel must alert with oto`o and gerrard must look between oscar+hazzard and ba or torres ( very defecult player ).. agger must give 100 % momentum at this game..

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