Pop, Went the Bubble!

Balotelli’s fee and transfer to Liverpool stood out amidst some of the fees being thrown about

Sun rise, sun set. Sun rise, sun set. Night follows day, as day follows night. The old adage is that nothing lasts forever. One minute you are hot, the next you are not; much like the mullet on the head of an 80’s footballer all soft and flowing one moment but the height of ridicule the next (someone have a chat with Gerry Francis yeah?).

Like the Romans, you could simply stretch too far too quickly and get your derriere handed to you by Asterix or some other Gaul, or you could be like Icarus and rise much higher than you are supposed to, the glue in your wings ending up like cheese on a baked potato.. delicious.. melted.

As I sit astride my throne of contemplation, elbows leaving those tell tale red marks on my knees waiting for Springfield or Quahog to load the thought strikes me: this transfer window, more than ones before, is football flying too close to the sun? Are we sprinting against Usain Bolt despite only just learning to walk? Have we made that age old mistake of metaphorically trying to conquer Russia in the winter? Funnily enough it is with a Russian related theme that my mind wanders to first; your favourite club and mine.. Chelsea.

I have raised comment previously over what is a quite clever way of circumnavigating UEFA FFP rules with the stockpiling of players and farming them out on loan. Over 30 at one point last season, hoovering up Atsu, Lukaku, Zouma and Romeu shaped talent before sending it out here, there and everywhere. This didn’t, and still doesn’t, sit comfortably with me, but hey its only one of thousands of loopholes that grind my gears. Thanks for your tax contribution Starbucks!

It is the action of this summer and partly last January that have taken a more sinister twist in my eyes, and in all fairness Chelsea are not alone in this.

How to explain.. well, lets start with a Liverpool signing that has me ‘wet my pants, stick a fork in me I’m done’ excited, Mario Balotelli. (Side note – he could be a sensation, a disaster or both but what a ride it will be!). AC Milan wanted to sell him, primarily because they have fallen from grace somewhat, without Champions League football and a league not dripping with cash like the Premier League, will struggle to afford him and need to rebuild.

From his own perspective, Balotelli wants Champions League footie and his agent – rightly or wrongly – wants him out of Italy. So we have a willing and very active seller,

Champions League football has helped inflate fees and wages, with increased TV money

no Puma boots being dug in and a buyer which, Ladies and Gentlemen, leaves us with a simple mathematical equation resulting in a £16 million(ish) deal, pretty much what they paid City for him. Bish, Bash, Bosh.

It will undoubtedly be argued that his baggage reduced the fee (like Suarez.. oh, wait, it didn’t) and that had there been more interested buyers the cost would have gone up. Perhaps, perhaps not. In the end we have a price tag reflective of talent and the situation, so now we have this in mind let me throw a couple of Chelsea names at you: Juan Mata, David Luiz, and Romelu Lukaku.

Good players the lot of them. To be fair I would happily have them all sign on at Anfield, no doubt, but what is it they have in common? All have now left Chelsea, all were not wanted at Chelsea and all were sold at a hefty profit by Chelsea. So the simple equation brought to us by Mario does not compute..

We have a willing seller, a willing buyer and players desperate to get out of the Bridge (for one reason or another) yet Chelsea made £120 million(ish). Whaaaat? No rules broken and all fair in love and war, Chelsea will sail through FFP despite the expensive arrivals of Costa and Fabregas – 2 players perfect for them.

This isn’t isolated either, Real Madrid received a £60 million(ish) pile of notes in the shape of Angel Di Maria, a player they not only didn’t want but had to sell. These instances on their own are worrying but they cause a knock on effect felt by all clubs. Eyebrows were raised when we splashed £20 million(ish) on Dejan Lovren until its argued that we could only have bought 2 arms and a leg of David Luiz with that amount.

Transfer woes do not solely sit with extortionate and questionable fees, this summer we have also seen the Barcelona show, a club banned from making signings signing a player banned from all football activities (yes, I know it’s a tad more complex than that but you get the drift and that fit into my word count a lot better!).

Chelsea are ‘farming’ young talent, loaning them out and making a huge profit years later

We have seen Monaco take on the Malaga crown of getting an owner, splashing the cash, not being able to sustain it and flogging their players. How did a team who’s ground capacity is less than 20k sustain fees and wages like Falcao and James?!?! Didn’t see that coming. Then we have Madrid who in the last 4 or 5 years have spent 1 Gazillion dollars. United have thrown over £200 million at their squad post-Ferguson, to be left with more left-backs than corny football joke books.

All the while we are told that TV revenue is going up, each deal greater than the last, each TV company promising they are not Setanta. We are seeing pre-season tours of the moon and Jupiter all while ‘we act for the good of the game’ authorities ignore rocketing ticket costs because they are too busy threatening Joe Bloggs with legal action over his 6 seconds of Vine action ‘because it’s stealing, you absolute bar steward’, whilst secretly shaking hands on a Premier League 39th game so that Timbuktu get the honour of hosting Burnley v Stoke (no offence), but I’m sure that it will all be OK when they tell us ‘it was just BANTER’.

This can’t possibly continue, there will be a breaking point. More teams will ‘do a Leeds’ and ‘do a Malaga’; more leagues will suffer a ‘Setanta’ but when do we take notice? Do we wait for 5 clubs go bust? 10? Or will it take a big-boy to fall? A player to earn half a million a week? 1 million? Fees over 100 million? 200 million?

I know its bleak, but kind of always wanted to say this.. Winter is coming..