So its over a month now that we’ve been without the Premier League and across the country men are running out of topics to converse about and husbands and boyfriends have been getting to know their wives and girlfriends and for the first time since last summer spending time together: going out for meals, shopping trips, taking the kids out. If you’re anything like me, you’re fed up of it already and crave for the 13th of August when that first ball is kicked which marks the beginning of another season-long rollercoaster of emotion. It is the time when we can return into our natural habitat in front of the TV on a Saturday and Sunday, viciously protecting the remote so that the channel doesn’t switch from Sky Sports to anything else, or out in that great sporting theatre which is the pub with your mates and a nice cold pint or two and the big screen.
Like many, I cannot function without my regular fix of the Premier League and have taken to compiling tedious and trivial lists and thoughts about football and what the new season will bring as I sit around in sheer anticipation of the 2011/12 Season. During my latest attack of uncontrolled yearning for Premier League I have come up with this list of the top 10 most UNLIKELY things we will see next season, have a look and see if you agree:
1. After months of pressure from fan’s, pundits and the media, Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger finally gives in and accepts the need for a solid combative midfield and a big strong leader at the back and promptly signs Joey Barton, Lee Cattermole and Karl Henry, paving the way for Fabregas to move to Barcelona for £10m and forcing the likes of Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere out on loan in search of first team football and signs Richard Dunne and Zat Knight to plug the gaps at the back.
2. After the retirement of Neville, Scholes, Van Der Sar, Manchester United plummet down the table by January they lie in a disappointing 13th place, Manchester United fans call for Fergie’s head as the media speculate that Ryan Giggs will take over in a player/manager capacity. The fight drained out of him, in an interview with the BBC Alex Ferguson announces his retirement with immediate effect.
3. After a flying start to the season by David Moyes’ side which sees them lead the pack heading into December, Bill Kenwright produces a £100m war-chest for Moyes to spend in the transfer window to ensure Everton remain competitive throughout the rest of the campaign. What’s more is that the Everton medical staff are given time off ‘to persue other interests’ because the treatment room is empty and has been all season.
4. Want-away Moroccan playmaker Adel Taarabt swallows his pride, stops trying to engineer a move to a bigger club, apologises to the QPR fans, stays the season, scores 20 goals from midfield and single-handedly keeps them up.
Continue Reading on Page 2 . . .
La you must be pulling your hair out to have come up with this! I too would be pulling my hair out (if I had any)! Anyway made sort of an interesting read, better than some of the transfer rubbish i’ve read. YNWA
First class trash!!
Haha, I’m not sure this list took more than 10 mins to think out but a good read none the less 🙂 I agree with McWikid over there. Better than some of the stuff I’ve been reading lately. Good job. YNWA
No mention of the Toon NOT making headlines for non-footy reasons … That would be nice, but unlikely. 😉
great write-up. gotta say u have a really cra*y imagination. dat was rib cracking… i just puked my dinner